My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. Honestly, there isn’t even a toss-up between any other holiday and Thanksgiving. Don’t really care for loud noises – see you, Fourth of July. Christmas is overdone – hasta, merry merry. Scary movies and all that crap – no Halloween lover. But Thanksgiving? I’ve had a small love affair with it since I learned how to cook. There’s something about Thanksgiving that leaves me pressure-free. I don’t have to decorate the house. No need to plan an elaborate costume. Just food and family. My kids know pretty much what we’ll have year after year, but they are welcome to suggest something new. Last Thanksgiving, Lucas, Shelby’s fiancé, made the turkey and had to contend with two rather attentive dogs at his feet. Thanksgiving is pretty much the bomb for me. Plus I normally enjoy the preparation that comes with a month focused on gratitude. Normally. This year? It’s just plain weird probably because it’s been that way for many, many months.
Maybe I need this month of gratitude to just let it all go. I read about others expressing their gratitude and see red. It’s irrational. Not even remotely healthy, but that’s where I am at. Things that used to destress me seem like a chore, but I know better. I know better. I need to find those places and let them just wash over me. I need running and knitting and writing and reading and photography and just being. And yet, all the other “must dos” get in the way. November? My focus for gratitude is to find those spots again and claim them for myself. Me. Just me.
I took my first photo in a long, long while when my parents were out, and it felt good to notice the small things around me. It felt good to pick up an actual camera and not settle for my phone. It just felt right. I’m not committing to a 365 just yet, but I am going with a photo-a-day in November. Where this goes is anyone’s guess, but I can’t let the bitterness and stress win out. There’s too much at stake for that. I’m planning on just letting it happen. Sometimes, that’s the only way to go. And surely I can’t be the only one to feel like that.
Please tell me I’m not.
“Alive” by Sia – I’ve seen her twice in concert (back before she cared about covering her face), and her voice is as good live as it is on the radio.