Funny thing happened today when I logged on Facebook . . . I couldn’t figure out who anybody was because all the profile pictures were the same. Considering that my brother and my sister-in-law usually have the same profile pic, and it always takes me a while to figure out who is posting what with just the two of them, imagine having 50% of your news feed displaying the same image. Quite frankly, it’s a little daunting, seeing all those red boxes with equal signs in the middle of them. How the hell am I supposed to figure out who’s who if I don’t see their smiling faces or a cute little image of their cats. These red boxes are kinda annoying, people.

Here’s what’s really annoying. Still having a debate over marriage equality in 2013. Not having the right to marry whomever you love despite your gender. Being told that your committed relationship of ten years is some how less valid than a celebrity’s “marriage” of 72 days just because you happen to have the same reproductive organs as your partner. Knowing that you might not be permitted in the hospital room with your loved one because you’re “technically” not family. Having to explain repeatedly that it isn’t a choice . . . it’s your life.

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Call your opposition to it what you want. Religious freedom. The teachings of Christ. Preserving the sanctity of marriage. Offering up civil unions as a solution. From what I can remember when I read the Bible, Christ never said a damn thing about homosexuality. But he did say to love your neighbor as yourself. And if you really, really want to preserve the sanctity of marriage, make it harder to get married. Require some actual classes involving finances and constructive criticism. How about learning how to argue effectively but supporting the one you love? Ask people who want to get married to plan an “end of life” agreement with their partner. Do all that to preserve the sanctity of marriage instead of looking at what’s between a person’s legs. If after all that, you still want to get married, more power to you. Because here’s another annoying fact, something that people don’t tell you. Marriage is hard. It’s not the walk in the park that you read about in books or the dewy-eyed looks between just you two. It’s seeing your partner, face down in a toilet bowl after one too many drinks. It’s crying your eyes out over something so insignificant that you can’t remember it twelve years later but, by god – it was important! It’s wondering how your are going to pay the bills and still stay afloat for another month. It’s celebrating each others successes and pushing past the defeats. It’s putting your ice cold feet against a far warmer pair of legs in bed because you know you can. People look at civil unions and wonder why that isn’t good enough. Because it’s not. It doesn’t allow for the same protection as a marriage, provide the same benefits as a marriage, or give recognition by the federal government. Simply put . . . it’s not a marriage.

Dave and I have been married for 21 years. Those 21 years have gone by faster than I ever thought possible. Why shouldn’t our friends be given that same opportunity just because they happen to be gay or lesbian?  I really hope that the Supreme Court feels the same way after it hears the Prop 8 and DOMA cases this week. But enough of the red boxes on Facebook . . . let’s get back to the cat pictures.

 

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