At some point in my life, about 11 years ago, I reached a point with my weight where I wasn’t happy. It came about during a conversation with a colleague when he stated what he weighed, and it was drastically less than I did. And he was about eight inches taller than me. Plus fifteen years older (give or take). Quite a blow to your ego when you realize that you are in such shitty shape, and you’re first thought is, “Did XYZ leave more than three Oreos in the pack after our lunch yesterday?” But that was a tipping point for me. I joined Weight Watchers and was incredibly committed to it, going so far as to lose about 65 pounds and telling my friend that he was my weight loss inspiration but for reasons different from his initial suspicions. And I kept that weight off – more or less – for about five years. However, slowly and slowly, it crept back. A few pounds here. A little bit more there. Oh, those pants? They have the Spandex in the ass that I like . . . I’ll just buy a few while they are on sale.

So, today . . . I’m not quite back where I started (there’s still about ten pounds from that initial weight loss off), but I’ve reached that point again. I’m not sure why. It certainly hasn’t been because of any conversations with my friend as our conversations are limited to Facebook since his retirement. It might be the rash that I incurred in early July because it know that it’s been exacerbated by my weight. Possibly, it’s from stepping on the scale at the doctor’s and seeing the same weight show up. Whatever it is, I’ll take it because something has to give and not the waistband in my pants because there’s not enough Spandex to make them fashionable in anyone’s mind.

 

Monday night I joined First Strides in my hometown. A good friend has been involved for a few years, and when she posted it on Facebook, I figured it was worth a gamble. They will help you get in shape to participate in a 5K, which is something that I’ve always wanted to do. As a bonus, the 5K for this go round is on my 43rd birthday. So it’s my birthday present to myself: successful completion of doing something for me . . . just for me. Sure, I’ll probably throw in a cake (duh!), but crossing that finish line will be my own celebration. I know that being successful with Weight Watchers in the past involved journaling the food that I eat, but the past few times I’ve tried to get on board with Weight Watchers, it wasn’t clicking. This time, I’m using LoseIt!, which has a free app for my phone as well as a web component. It keeps me accountable . . . makes me commit to writing shit down . . . makes me look at food differently. And if I have enough calories left over for an Oreo McFlurry at the end of the day, so be it.

Why put it out there? Why push “publish” on the blog? Because if I don’t, I’m afraid that I’ll slide back into bad habits. And I’m tired of the bad habits. I know that I rely too much on processed foods. Eat out too much during the week. Munch without thinking. So . . . it’s out there. A 5K for my birthday. Hopefully a two pound weight loss a week. Less trips to a fast-food joint (I’ll make an exception for Panera . . . I’m not a true glutton for punishment). And just maybe getting back on the path towards a healthier lifestyle. Suggestions for the journey? I think I’ll need all the help I can get.

Advertisements