At some point in my life, about 11 years ago, I reached a point with my weight where I wasn’t happy. It came about during a conversation with a colleague when he stated what he weighed, and it was drastically less than I did. And he was about eight inches taller than me. Plus fifteen years older (give or take). Quite a blow to your ego when you realize that you are in such shitty shape, and you’re first thought is, “Did XYZ leave more than three Oreos in the pack after our lunch yesterday?” But that was a tipping point for me. I joined Weight Watchers and was incredibly committed to it, going so far as to lose about 65 pounds and telling my friend that he was my weight loss inspiration but for reasons different from his initial suspicions. And I kept that weight off – more or less – for about five years. However, slowly and slowly, it crept back. A few pounds here. A little bit more there. Oh, those pants? They have the Spandex in the ass that I like . . . I’ll just buy a few while they are on sale.
So, today . . . I’m not quite back where I started (there’s still about ten pounds from that initial weight loss off), but I’ve reached that point again. I’m not sure why. It certainly hasn’t been because of any conversations with my friend as our conversations are limited to Facebook since his retirement. It might be the rash that I incurred in early July because it know that it’s been exacerbated by my weight. Possibly, it’s from stepping on the scale at the doctor’s and seeing the same weight show up. Whatever it is, I’ll take it because something has to give and not the waistband in my pants because there’s not enough Spandex to make them fashionable in anyone’s mind.
Monday night I joined First Strides in my hometown. A good friend has been involved for a few years, and when she posted it on Facebook, I figured it was worth a gamble. They will help you get in shape to participate in a 5K, which is something that I’ve always wanted to do. As a bonus, the 5K for this go round is on my 43rd birthday. So it’s my birthday present to myself: successful completion of doing something for me . . . just for me. Sure, I’ll probably throw in a cake (duh!), but crossing that finish line will be my own celebration. I know that being successful with Weight Watchers in the past involved journaling the food that I eat, but the past few times I’ve tried to get on board with Weight Watchers, it wasn’t clicking. This time, I’m using LoseIt!, which has a free app for my phone as well as a web component. It keeps me accountable . . . makes me commit to writing shit down . . . makes me look at food differently. And if I have enough calories left over for an Oreo McFlurry at the end of the day, so be it.
Why put it out there? Why push “publish” on the blog? Because if I don’t, I’m afraid that I’ll slide back into bad habits. And I’m tired of the bad habits. I know that I rely too much on processed foods. Eat out too much during the week. Munch without thinking. So . . . it’s out there. A 5K for my birthday. Hopefully a two pound weight loss a week. Less trips to a fast-food joint (I’ll make an exception for Panera . . . I’m not a true glutton for punishment). And just maybe getting back on the path towards a healthier lifestyle. Suggestions for the journey? I think I’ll need all the help I can get.
Unraveling This Life 
I’ll be cheering you on! I know you’ll do it.
I know you will . . . and you know how easy it is to talk myself out of shit. But there’s a new batch of “properly” made pickles in the frig as well as some zucchini bites in the oven, so it’s a start.
I also make the Panera exception– wishing you lots of luck on your journey!
Thank you! Panera is sometimes my salvation just because of my schedule and my husband’s schedule . . . but damn them and their inclusion of avocado. It is my weakness, plain and simple!
Way to go Jill- I too have wanted to run a 5k- hoped to do it with sami last year, but I only stuck with the work out for 2 months. The season came and went and It did not happen. I wish you drive and focus- you will suceed. Use your group to help you keep the focus.
Thanks, Michelle! I’m using technology as my friend (and my bully this time). Here’s hoping to something successful with the plans!
You go Jill – you are a wonderfully strong woman and I know you will succeed at anything and everything you put you mind to!
Thanks, Rachel . . . and as an added bonus, dinner is already done and in the frig. The zucchini two-bites look positively delicious. And a full batch to boot!
So much of your story there sounds like me! Right down to the not being able to get back on board with WW and the using the LoseIt app! Just take it day by day! You’ll do great!
Day by day is how it is going to be. For some reason -fine, the last three times – WW wasn’t clicking. I need to see what I have in finite amounts of calories and start taking it from there.
You kick ass. Also, I just want to throw out there that I always thought you were beautiful anyway. I share the same struggles and have done since 5th grade. I’ll be following along. There are lots of studies out there that mention that making your goals public will help you, since people will “hold you accountable”… I don’t know if you ever read the Ben Does Life Tumblr but it was a good inspiration for me. And then I got the Couch-to-5K app and that was really fun… until I went and tore a calf muscle on the trampoline. I’m a bit jealous you’ve got a scheduled 5K though… I’m eager to get my shoes back on my feet, so I’m excited to read about your progress. Rock on!
Making it public was the push I needed . . . and hitting “publish” felt good because I wasn’t going to keep it in the back of my mind. Because then I can keep doing what I have been doing.
The 5K being scheduled when it is was just poor, dumb luck . . . but I’ll take my luck any way I can get it if it helps.
Should have my sorry butt out there with you! Stress of taking care of mom leads to bad, quick meals which equals weight. Mom weighs less than me!
I completely feel for you, Lori . . . and I don’t know how I would handle it. I’ve thought of the Once-a-Month-Cooking (OMAC) thing for a while, but for just the two of us, it didn’t make sense.
So with you on this one! I’ve lost and gained a few hundred I think in my adult life. Just when I think, ” I will never go back to that unhealthy way of living,” a few stressors send me back down that path. You can do it, I’m proud of you for putting it out there. a 5k of your 43rd – hope its followed by a cold beer to celebrate!
I get sidetracked easily (Oreos? I think I’ve mentioned them a few times), but I’m really hoping that I can be healthier this time. And anything followed by a cold beer is fine by me, even without an Oreo (because even that sounds disgusting to me).
Go to the Y, get a personal trainer, and take body pump class. Best thing I ever did this past January.
I think they have that at our Y . . . maybe I’ll add that in the winter . . . you know, that extra motivation that I need š
God, I have a weakness for Oreos too! I’m sure there’s crack in that creamy white filling. Best of luck, Jilly-bean. We’ll have to keep you on track in Toronto – but then booze has no calories, right? š
Oreos are probably a government experiment gone bad (maybe for some kind of mind control). And you know that whatever happens on our trips works out fine by me . . . booze can be clear š
Wishing you the best. I bought running shoes for myself for mother’s day, and I was doing ok with the running sometimes, if the heat and humidity aren’t bad, and if my husband is around at a “normal” time of day, yadda yadda yadda. Needless to say, I’m not doing so good. I would love to work up to a 5K too. Maybe you can be my inspiration! I’m hating how the weight creeps up when the stress creeps up.
Thanks, Amy! I don’t think I’ll ever make it to running (things haven’t changed that much), but I would like to be healthy and ok with myself. It’s been so many years since that damn mini-skirt that I wore out (literally) at Miami, but I’d like to think that there is a better, more age-appropriate one around the bend . . . maybe one that comes with some nice Frye knee high boots.
It’s awesome that you’ve set a 5K goal! I’m using Loseit, too, instead of WW…about 10 years ago, I lost 35 lbs, and it’s not always easy to maintain. Usually the spring semester derails me, then I work my ass off to lose the extra weight all summer, then I’m okay in the fall, and then spring derails me. Anyway, all that is to say: go, you! and let me know if you want to be friends on Loseit! xx
Let’s see, do I want to be friends on LoseIt! Ummm, yes! I’m finding I like it better than WW because I’m more accountable. I hated when people would find something and say it was 0 points. You’re still eating; you’re still putting calories in your body.